Haught

Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Tag: Benign to Five

The Haught guide to work toilet banditry

If you’re reading this and have worked in an office with mostly upper-middle class colleagues but never encountered the sort of lavatory foulness you’d associate with a cholera-infected Mumbai slum you’re in a tiny and very lucky minority.

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The Haught guide to fudging your resume

          The lord of the white lies I once told a lie. It was many, many…

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The Haught guide to office dating

Friends have informed me that the internet dating scene is moribund. Realising that traditional partner-finding avenues are now back in vogue, I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s column to office prowling tips.

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The Haught guide to snake oil salesmen

The worst mistake you can make as a citizen of the 21st century is believe that the age in which it was possible to quit one’s job and take to the road selling a miracle tincture made of tree sap, rancid avocado juice and buffalo urine is long past.

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Benign to Five on networking

The official Haught guide to effective, strategic, synergistic networking, going forward.

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The Haught guide to change managers

  Every single word I write on these pages and in the pages of The Age and the Sydney Morning Herald is true. If…

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The Haught guide to “moving forward”

“Moving forward” (aka “going forward”) seems as popular today as when it first burst on to the corporate scene like an alien out of an unimportant character’s chest.

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Benign to Five on “When I grow up…”

What do you reckon Alan Jones wanted to be when he was growing up? What about Kyle Sandilands? Or Pat…

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The Haught guide to “journeys”

The Haught guide to “journeys”

In the past few years I’ve heard of accounts-receivable journeys, efficiency-optimisation journeys, even an ergonomic-chair-height reduction journey.

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Benign to Five on obliterating wank language

“It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words.” At least that’s what the character Syme from George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four reckons. Syme…

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