Haught

Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Tag: Haught

The Haught guide to “journeys”

The Haught guide to “journeys”

In the past few years I’ve heard of accounts-receivable journeys, efficiency-optimisation journeys, even an ergonomic-chair-height reduction journey.

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The Haught guide to work farewells

While in Barcelona, I once hid in a lavatory to avoid dancing. The Contiki Tour I was on took us…

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My email to Alan Jones

Last week, the Sydney broadcaster Alan Jones told a gathering that the Prime Minister’s father, who had recently passed away, had…

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Benign to Five on knowing when to fold ’em

Is there a more frustrating end to a conversation than “get over it?” Possibly “whatever” or a massive expulsion of…

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My email to Margaret Court

Gay marriage. It’s died down completely as an issue since I wrote this letter to Margaret Court earlier in the…

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Benign to Five on dealing with difficult people

Difficult people are a dime a dozen, aren’t they? That’s less than one cent each, and still you’re probably paying…

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Yet more erotic fiction

[Ruk] was walking down Sparkassenstraße in Munich. He was not wearing lederhosen – he never had. He also had no interest in fascism. He was wearing cuban heels and many women looked at him as he passed.

One of those women was Leto Amethyst. Their eyes met – Ruk’s brown like hazelnut praline in a dark room, Leto’s blue like the Danube at a quarter past three on a mid-September afternoon with no cloud cover.

They went down and alley. They took off all their clothes and had sex in the doggy position.

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The Haught guide to “learnings”

‘‘Learnings’’ is like a two metre tall, English-speaking, double-wattled cassowary in post-apocalyptic leather body armour on a steam train singing Broadway musical numbers. Nobody knows what it is, how or why it got there — but, my word, do they love it.

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My email to some tobacco companies

When you’re feeling vulnerable and confused… when the world has got you down and you don’t know what to do next……

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Where have all the Grape Men gone?

I get asked a lot of questions while on tour, during international literary festivals and in the bath with groupies….

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