My dearest, I missed you yesterday. I missed you so much that my head ached. My body yearned for you…
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Read MoreSit down. I need to talk with you about something. No, sit on the chair the right way round, please…
Read MoreFor the purposes of this article, I’ll call him Vernon Quest. Because that was his name. (Hello, Verne, if you’re…
Read MoreNew year resolutions have been considered naff and juvenile so widely and for such a long time that they’re…
Read MoreIn most cases… these people are barely able to keep their heads above the scum-topped liquid of their own career puddles despite wearing an inflatable giraffe ring around their waist at all times (sometimes metaphorical, often not).
Read MoreBut the greatest moment of all was when I witnessed a bloke lose control of his pendulum.
He was a flighty individual and must have feared having someone standing beside him at the urinals; that was understandable. What I had more trouble empathising with was the exclamation “Wh-wh-whoooa!” followed a furious flurry of activity during which urine passed over the top of the nearby cubicle and squirted into his own face.
It was like a small child trying to regain control of a full-bore fire hose.
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