Haught

Purveyors of fine sarcasm

The Haught guide to bringing stuff to life

I went into the [Smorgy’s] cellar to look for the propane torch we sometimes used to keep at bay the warthogs that accumulated around the restaurant’s perimeter after midnight.

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Mike’s Golf Shop – the ad that didn’t need a writer — The Ink Bureau

I wrote something that was a little bit serious but also a little bit pisstke. I put it on my…

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What made the 1980s great

The subtext is dance like nobody will remember your lycra-clad thrusting because they’ll all be dead. Love like humiliating rejection doesn’t feel so bad in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Sing like tomorrow your vocal chords will be dust.

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How to become a thought leader

My new year resolution was to become a thought leader. I’ve already achieved it. I got my accreditation from the…

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What is content?

“Content” is one of those words that gained popularity so quickly, people fell over themselves, and the bodies of others – some dead from suffocation and trampling – to start using it. They believed there was no time to stop and consider what it truly meant or in what context it should be used – they just went for it, hard and fast like two lab rats in a sex hormone experiment.

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The Haught guide to summer fashion

Of course, 1970 was a different time. I was minus 12 years old back then, so my memory of the era is a bit sketchy, but the ad tells us this was a time when 60 year-old men in exposed knee-high white socks consulted blueprints while standing.

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Haught Take: inspirational quotes

I’ll tell you what annoys me about the ‘inspirational’ memes and quotes that do the rounds on Facebook and LinkedIn? Well, their preposterous oversimplification of the human condition, obviously. But also their ubiquity.

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My email to the National Rifle Association

[After the apocalypse] we’ll have supercharged, skeletal cars and incredibly sexy makeshift leather body armour, but what good will that do us when a horde of koala-human hybrids attacks us in the wee small ours of the morning while we camp by a glowing billabong? The dread creatures will ravage us. Because, as you know, the only thing that can stop a bad koalaguy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

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The Murphy’s Law truth about your Year 12 results

If you bugger up your final exams and get a score that doesn’t reflect your hard work and talent, you will inevitably end up in professional circles where every single person with the power to give you a job considers your ATAR or your OP to be a perfect and unchallengeable predictor of your professional competence.

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The Haught guide to inadvertent plagiarism

I had one of those abject moments of deflation last year. You know the ones: they came just after you…

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