Haught

Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Tag: Haught

The Haught guide to first impressions

The moral of the story is avoid hedging your bets. If you’re not sure about what to wear, either dress for the ballroom or nude up.

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The Voice: a conversation

“A seal? One of the judges is a marine mammal? I’m definitely watching the show now. Why haven’t you told me about this show before?”

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ParentHaught: how to introduce your baby to the office

A year ago, almost to this day, the stork came. It was 2.30pm on a Sunday. That evening we were cuddling a snowy-haired girl and eating stork for dinner. Well, you know how bad hospital food is.

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ParentHaught: baby rules for working mums and dads

The word “we” has absolutely no place in describing or announcing the birth. One partner goes through 8 to 30 hours of unrelenting agony before forcing a juvenile member of the species through a very small bodily opening. The other stands bedside, grimacing, patting, squeezing and cooing.

There is no “we”.

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The Haught guide to “driving”

If you’re reading this having set out with me on the Haught journey right back at the start – the very…

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The Haught guide to choosing your spirit animal

Ten years ago, if someone had asked you what your spirit animal was, you’d have moved to the other end…

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My email to Facebook

Facebook, I’m not a greedy man. I’m humble blogger. Some would say the best humble blogger in the southern hemisphere, but let’s not quibble over whether I’m the best, second best or third best. The point is I am a humble blogger with a modest goal: I merely want to scatter my iconic brand of highly literate sarcasm to the adoring public like sunflower seeds to ecstatic crimson rosellas…

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The Haught guide to the word “strategic”

In this ultra-cynical age, the word ‘panacea’ has been splashed with negative connotations. The 21st century has no time for…

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Our shared fear of telephone calls

The telephone has always been an untrustworthy intermediary masquerading as an inanimate conduit. It is a great manipulator, playing both parties off against one another at every opportunity.

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The Haught guide to grunting

The 2015 Australian Open begins this week and if the tennis season teaches us anything, it’s that making very loud noises while…

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