Dear President Trump,

It is an absolute honour to have you on my humble blog (perhaps the best humble blog in the southern hemisphere).

Please consider this speech, delivered by the President of the Confederated States of Australia – one of the United States’ great allies – as something that you might be able use as you lead your country on the journey back to greatness.

“IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT . . .

Take It Or Leave It.

I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.

This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!

Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.

We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us. This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.

If you aren’t happy here then LEAVE. We didn’t force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.

There is no need to research this speech further, Mr Trump. It is, unlike Barack Obama’s birth certificate, entirely legitimate.

Do not visit this page of my website. Or this page on the Leftist fringe website, Snopes. Or refer to a basic knowledge of history, politics or culture.

Please persist with you modus operandi and read the speech, or an excerpt from it, verbatim at a public gathering so as to once again underscore your status as one of the most widely read and well-informed Prime Ministers of the United States of the Americas.