Purveyors of fine sarcasm

The Famous Emails

Catalogue of emails


Email to Yarra Trams tile
The email that led to the undisputed greatest customer service response of all time


Metro trains tile - two trains
An email to the public transport operator of incomparable ineptitude


EMail to Facebook tile
The email to social media leviathans and pathological algorithm changers, Facebook


The famous email to Microsoft
The email to Microsoft exec Stephen Elop, who wrote what has become known as one of the worst emails in corporate history


My email to myki
The particularly nasty email to the worst ticketing system in the history of civilisation


My email to the NRA
The email to the National Rifle Association about the end of civilisation as we know it.
My email to tobacco companies tile
The email to some of the largest carcinogen tube manufacturers, seeking advice about reversing my waning popularity


My email to Myer tile
The email to a Myer CEO who complained publicly that the National Disability Insurance Scheme would affect retail sales


My email to Melburnians tile
My email to my fellow Melburnians (because I was too scared to be a smart arse to Border Force Australia)


My email to Arnott's
The email to Arnott’s (well, really Campbell Soup Co) about their astounding changes to the Shapes recipes.


The email to the original world’s most incompetent (now-defunct) transport company

The email to noted the self-gratifier and entertainer of halfwits, Kyle Sandilands

The love letter to manufacturer of the world’s most delicious ice-cream, Weis’

My email to The Goodnight Society
The email to a very kind Australian pyjama manufacturer.

The email to flash-in-the-pan entrepreneur and bigot, Ben Polis

MY EMAIL TO Alan jones
The email to beetroot-coloured Sydney-Sider and riot incitement expert, Alan Jones

The email to purveyors of grease, KFC, about their cricket ads

The email to the Australian megacorporation about their exceedingly bad credit card service

The email to another Australian megacorporation about hot cross buns and Jesus


  1. To: “haught.com.au”.

    Subject: Assistance from influencers.

    Dear Madames/ Sirs.

    In 2007 I joined the struggle of the disabled in Israel. As of July 10, 2018, I am doing this as part of the “Nitgaber”-transparent disabled movement which I joined.

    As we know, people who try to promote various things on the Internet such as products, websites they own and in many cases also social struggles of various kinds are sometimes helped by network influencers – famous people (so-called “celebrities”) who promote their ideas for an extremely high fee.

    My question to you is: Do you know an economic model, with the help of which even people like me, who live on a low income, can integrate into such a format?


    assaf benyamini.

    Subject: Technological tools.

    Dear Madames/ Sirs
    Since 2007, I have been participating in the struggle for the disabled in Israel – a struggle that is known to be extensively covered in the media as well.
    One of the means by which we try to advance the struggle is by using various technological tools: writing on social networks, opening websites and trying to promote and improve them, managing virtual communities and so on.
    My question in this regard is: Is it possible for your company or organization to offer technological tools that can help us in our struggle? And if so – in what areas, and how?
    Best regards,
    assaf benyamini,
    115 Costa Rica Street,
    Entrance A-Apartment 4,
    Kiryat Menachem,
    ISRAEL, Zip code: 9662592.
    my phone numbers: at home-Confidential due to harassment and a complaint to the Israel Police that was not addressed.
    Mobile-972-58-6784040. Fax-972-77-2700076.
    post Scriptum. 1) My ID number: 029547403.

    2) My websites: https://www.disability55.com/ and: : https://assaf-permalinks.com

    3) My email addresses: 029547403@walla.co.il and: asb783a@gmail.com and: assaf197254@yahoo.co.il and: ass.benyamini@yandex.com and: assaffff@protonmail.com and: benyamini@vk.com and: assafbenyamini@163.com

    4)Here is a message wrote on facebook by ISRAELI film editor Tali Ohaion:
    Tali Ohaion
    6 days
    for a documentary that she has been working on in recent years “Esther Cinema – from the White City to the Netflix generation”,
    Looking for personal archives, photographs of the atmosphere in Hamkin in the 90s on Fridays at noon and in general, as well as of Dizengoff Square in the early 80s, the children of the square, the “freaks” who used to gather in the square.
    Please contact in private or by phone 972-52-2846954

    5) Hashtag I created: #ARealTransparentDisability
    6)my first language is Hebrew(עברית).
    7) my links:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.