The Australian President’s non-existent speech on immigration

Sorry. If you’re here hoping to read a speech from an Australian head of government roundly denouncing Muslim immigrants, you’re out of luck.

Yes, there is a “speech” doing the rounds that purports to be from “the Australian President” and, yes, it does tell an undefined group of people to fit in or fuck off, as it were, but it’s a fabrication.

You can read it below, but before you do, keep in mind that:

• Australia doesn’t have, and never has had, a President
• Few Australians would agree with the assertion that “God is part of our culture”
• Almost no Australians would agree that “it is certainly appropriate to display [religious rhetoric] on the walls of our schools”
• No Australian Prime Minister in his or her right mind (even the current one, a bible basher par excellence) would say in a speech “If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.”
• Most Australians would be hard pressed to recite an official Pledge

Here, without further ado, is the ‘authoritative’ version of the speech:

“IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT . . .
Take It Or Leave It.

I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.

This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!

Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.

We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us. This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.

If you aren’t happy here then LEAVE. We didn’t force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.

Patriotism, revolutionary zeal, Christian founders, freedom, a Pledge, sentences and paragraphs clearly missing. It sounds as if someone’s taken something written in the United States, made some clumsy edits, and attributed it to the head of the Australian government. And, in fact that’s exactly what’s happened.

The above speech was never delivered by the leader of Australia’s government. It’s a badly manipulated article written by Barry Loudermilk, a United States Air Force veteran and, at the time of writing this, a Republican Party politician. 

The speech was widely distributed by email several years ago, and still, by all reports, bobs up now and again.

You can read about the fabrication at Snopes.

If you now have a taste for entirely made-up speeches by non-existent Australia heads of state, you can read the the Australian President’s real speech on immigration right here at Haught.