Benign to Five on “When I grow up…”

Image courtesy of 'Gwernol'

Image courtesy of ‘Gwernol’

What do you reckon Alan Jones wanted to be when he was growing up? What about Kyle Sandilands? Or Pat Raw? These aren’t rhetorical questions, and I’m going to attempt to answer them in order:

Pantomime horse.

Condom vending machine maintenance person.

Chicken sexer.

It’s fun to look back at your preferred career at the age of 5. Fun, and also absolutely devastating. Our parents have a lot to answer for:

The Australian President’s real speech

Last week Barack Obama was re-elected as the Prime Minister of the Uniting States of America. This caused a great deal of anger among a certain section of US society, many members of which discovered for the first time that other countries existed outside their own and that some of these foreign nations now seemed more desirable than their native land.

Some vowed to leave America to escape Obama’s communist tentacles. A large percentage of these would-be emigres decided on Australia, in many cases because they’d read this speech by Australian President Julia Gillard.

However, everyone knows that speech is a hoax. No leader of Australia would ever be so obnoxiously provocative and appallingly undiplomatic.