ParentHaught: “UH-OH!”


The other day my wife, my daughter (Lucy) and I were coming home from a walk. We went via a cricket oval.

It was late afternoon and a game had just finished. We passed the pavilion and began to climb the hill towards our house when we all noticed a cricketer having a wizzle up against a fence of a nearby house.

He wasn’t particularly well hidden – there was just a barely living clump of bush obscuring his dude – but we probably wouldn’t have noticed him had it not been for the fact he was emitting wind with gay abandon.… Read the rest

The Haught guide to work toilet banditry

Highwayman with poo quote

Foul behaviour

I’m widely known as a man of the people, but even I, in my infinite magnanimity, don’t much go for crowds. Don’t get me wrong; I love a crowd when it’s overthrowing a tyrannical regime or when a segment of it, wearing the colours of my team, rises in unison and in a roaring crescendo outpours its collective assent to a goal.

And that’s the thing: a crowd needs a great and compelling common purpose for it to become a noble entity. So, it’s not the seething proletarian mob or the hot-blooded congregation of football lovers I can’t abide. It’s the crowd made of people who don’t really have their heart in the cause they’re prosecuting or the event they’re participating in.… Read the rest