Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Category: Benign to Five

ParentHaught: baby rules for working mums and dads

The word “we” has absolutely no place in describing or announcing the birth. One partner goes through 8 to 30 hours of unrelenting agony before forcing a juvenile member of the species through a very small bodily opening. The other stands bedside, grimacing, patting, squeezing and cooing.

There is no “we”.

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The Haught guide to “driving”

If you’re reading this having set out with me on the Haught journey right back at the start – the very…

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“Forget you, pal…”

I understand the world through the prism of early episodes of The Simpsons. Who between the ages of 25 and 40…

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The Haught guide to choosing your spirit animal

Ten years ago, if someone had asked you what your spirit animal was, you’d have moved to the other end…

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The Haught guide to the word “strategic”

In this ultra-cynical age, the word ‘panacea’ has been splashed with negative connotations. The 21st century has no time for…

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Our shared fear of telephone calls

The telephone has always been an untrustworthy intermediary masquerading as an inanimate conduit. It is a great manipulator, playing both parties off against one another at every opportunity.

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Emoticons: an exchange

Sit down. I need to talk with you about something. No, sit on the chair the right way round, please…

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A letter to kitchen foulers

Print this post and cut out the letter below, then stick it on or above your kitchen fridge or sink…

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Vernon Quest, confidant extraordinaire

For the purposes of this article, I’ll call him Vernon Quest. Because that was his name. (Hello, Verne, if you’re…

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The Haught guide to new year cliches

Is there anything worse than new year work cliches? Yes – many things – among them child labour, Kyle Sandilands…

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