Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Category: Words and Language

How good words turn bad

The items that we now categorise as weasel words, wank language and corporate buzzwords weren’t always the indefensible, indecipherable brain-slop of desk-shackled keyboard tappers. Almost every single one began as a word or term that didn’t make you want to chainsaw it alive and throw its corpse into an abandoned quarry.

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“How’s working at McDonald’s going for you?”

“So what do you do for a living, Johnson?”

“Uh… it’s Jonathan… I’m a… well, a writer.”

“A writer? You write books? Novels?”

“No, no, no. No. Definitely not.


“But I do write a little thing… a little columny thing… in the paper.”

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The Haught guide to “deep dives”

I’m all for metaphors. If variety is the spice of life then metaphors are the smoked paprika of language. I…

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The Haught guide to bringing stuff to life

I went into the [Smorgy’s] cellar to look for the propane torch we sometimes used to keep at bay the warthogs that accumulated around the restaurant’s perimeter after midnight.

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How to become a thought leader

My new year resolution was to become a thought leader. I’ve already achieved it. I got my accreditation from the…

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What is content?

“Content” is one of those words that gained popularity so quickly, people fell over themselves, and the bodies of others – some dead from suffocation and trampling – to start using it. They believed there was no time to stop and consider what it truly meant or in what context it should be used – they just went for it, hard and fast like two lab rats in a sex hormone experiment.

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The Haught guide to inadvertent plagiarism

I had one of those abject moments of deflation last year. You know the ones: they came just after you…

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The Haught guide to “downsizing”

One day, in the not too distant future people will be coming home from work telling their partners “Love – I was permanently de-salaried today because the company’s optimaligning has led to my role being seajourneyed.”

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The Voice: a conversation

“A seal? One of the judges is a marine mammal? I’m definitely watching the show now. Why haven’t you told me about this show before?”

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The Haught guide to “driving”

If you’re reading this having set out with me on the Haught journey right back at the start – the very…

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