Facebook, I’m not a greedy man. I’m humble blogger. Some would say the best humble blogger in the southern hemisphere, but let’s not quibble over whether I’m the best, second best or third best. The point is I am a humble blogger with a modest goal: I merely want to scatter my iconic brand of highly literate sarcasm to the adoring public like sunflower seeds to ecstatic crimson rosellas…
Read MoreHaughtist Elizabeth Campbell wrote a couple of weeks ago imploring me to send an email to Coles on her behalf….
Read More
While I may be the world’s most promising and precocious literary talent, this doesn’t change the fact that I am as ugly as sin. And I’m not talking about one of the spurious Catholic ones like “original sin” or one of the piss-weak Deadly ones like sloth or gluttony; I’m talking about the absolute shockers like wrath, Avada Kedavra and, by far the worst of all, vanity. (I absolutely abhor arrogance and conceit, and as the owner of a Chapel Street night club, you undoubtedly do too.)
I’m so unattractive, my wife employs a Perseus-style mirror-plated shield when conversing with me. I’m so unattractive, I’m reluctant to have children because I fear that if my son or daughter got my face genes, I’d be dragged to The Hague and charged with crimes against humanity.
Read MoreAt the end of last month you might recall that I began the #FreeAnnie campaign. If you didn’t catch the…
Read MoreIn May I sent an email to Metro Trains. It started out as an opportunity for the Big Blue M…
Read MoreAs The Age reported this week Metro Trains has, over the last year, gone into a fine dispensing frenzy. One of the people…
Read MoreLast week I sent an email to Metro Trains. I haven’t yet heard anything back from an official representative, but…
Read MoreI have a back catalogue of unsent Metro Trains complaints that, if put down on paper, scrunched into a ball and launched into space, would quickly begin orbiting the sun and become our solar system’s fourth largest planet.
Read MoreYou may have noticed by now that I believe sarcasm is the second highest form of wit (lavatory humour being…
Read MoreEarlier today I gave Yarra Trams the benefit of my feedback. Here’s a transcript of what I wrote:
Read More