You have no justification for outrage. Outrage is a privilege not an entitlement. It is like 1951 Grange Hermitage. Or dental care. You can’t just have it; you must earn the right to enjoy it.
Read MoreIs it OK to let a weekend’s sport result affect your mood at work? Absolutely not. It’s unprofessional, unfair on colleagues and morally wrong. You should take the day off instead.
Read MoreIf you’re a relative newcomer to Haught, you might not know that before I was writing immaculately worded emails to…
Read MoreI am, if nothing else, an advertising aficionado. In the past, I’ve been known to be quite critical of some…
Read MoreAs some of you reading this will know, my alter ego is a mild-mannered Melbourne Demons supporter by the name…
Read Moremyki, you are not a faecal stain on the fabric of society, not hydrochloric acid in the face of civility, not even a figurative cancer metastasising throughout the Victorian community. You are something so much worse.
Read MoreThe last installment of the Pat Raw Chronicles ended with Haught fan Julianne Rice suggesting that it was “only a…
Read MoreIf you’re new to Haught and haven’t yet got onto the official Haught Facebook page, you might not know who…
Read MoreI get asked a lot of questions while on tour, during international literary festivals and in the bath with groupies….
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While I may be the world’s most promising and precocious literary talent, this doesn’t change the fact that I am as ugly as sin. And I’m not talking about one of the spurious Catholic ones like “original sin” or one of the piss-weak Deadly ones like sloth or gluttony; I’m talking about the absolute shockers like wrath, Avada Kedavra and, by far the worst of all, vanity. (I absolutely abhor arrogance and conceit, and as the owner of a Chapel Street night club, you undoubtedly do too.)
I’m so unattractive, my wife employs a Perseus-style mirror-plated shield when conversing with me. I’m so unattractive, I’m reluctant to have children because I fear that if my son or daughter got my face genes, I’d be dragged to The Hague and charged with crimes against humanity.
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