Haught

Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Author: Jonathan

The #FreeAnnie campaign [VICTORY]

At the end of last month you might recall that I began the #FreeAnnie campaign. If you didn’t catch the…

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An ode to cant

I’m pretty sure every single blogger in Australia has had a crack at parodying the ‘Ode to can’ poem in…

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THE RESPONSE: My email to Metro Trains

In May I sent an email to Metro Trains. It started out as an opportunity for the Big Blue M…

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The #FreeAnnie campaign

As The Age reported this week Metro Trains has, over the last year, gone into a fine dispensing frenzy. One of the people…

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A [FAUX] RESPONSE: My email to Metro Trains

Last week I sent an email to Metro Trains. I haven’t yet heard anything back from an official representative, but…

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I owe Little Bean Blue a dollar

Dear fans of Haught Feelings, I need a little favour. I need you to make sure I don’t forget something….

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My email to Metro Trains

I have a back catalogue of unsent Metro Trains complaints that, if put down on paper, scrunched into a ball and launched into space, would quickly begin orbiting the sun and become our solar system’s fourth largest planet.

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Lavatory humour with a serious edge

My alter ego wrote a short story and is trying to flog it on Amazon. It contains the lavatory references…

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My email to Kyle Sandilands [VINTAGE HAUGHT]

Today the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) said Kyle Sandilands’ November on-air ejaculation of bile was a little bit bad…

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VINTAGE HAUGHT: My email to Gasp Jeans

I’ll be brutally honest (I know you goddamn respect that): your clothing doesn’t really do it for me – diamante encrusted denim isn’t my thing. But by Christ I love your approach to customer service via the written word.

I find the style of your (recently much-publicised) email correspondence nothing short of mesmerizing. The gloriously specific examples, the beautifully restrained sprinkle of Latin, the extravagant defense of your staff… truly exhilarating stuff.

I want one of your emails to call my own.

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