A few years ago my mate Jess Cameron-Wootten started making shoes. He got good at it – ridiculously good – and…
Read MoreA great injustice is taking place as you read this. Sam Marshall – the man who single-handedly turned Haught from…
Read MoreLast week Barack Obama was re-elected as the Prime Minister of the Uniting States of America. This caused a great…
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While I may be the world’s most promising and precocious literary talent, this doesn’t change the fact that I am as ugly as sin. And I’m not talking about one of the spurious Catholic ones like “original sin” or one of the piss-weak Deadly ones like sloth or gluttony; I’m talking about the absolute shockers like wrath, Avada Kedavra and, by far the worst of all, vanity. (I absolutely abhor arrogance and conceit, and as the owner of a Chapel Street night club, you undoubtedly do too.)
I’m so unattractive, my wife employs a Perseus-style mirror-plated shield when conversing with me. I’m so unattractive, I’m reluctant to have children because I fear that if my son or daughter got my face genes, I’d be dragged to The Hague and charged with crimes against humanity.
Read MoreAt the end of last month you might recall that I began the #FreeAnnie campaign. If you didn’t catch the…
Read MoreI’m pretty sure every single blogger in Australia has had a crack at parodying the ‘Ode to can’ poem in…
Read MoreIn May I sent an email to Metro Trains. It started out as an opportunity for the Big Blue M…
Read MoreAs The Age reported this week Metro Trains has, over the last year, gone into a fine dispensing frenzy. One of the people…
Read MoreI’ll be brutally honest (I know you goddamn respect that): your clothing doesn’t really do it for me – diamante encrusted denim isn’t my thing. But by Christ I love your approach to customer service via the written word.
I find the style of your (recently much-publicised) email correspondence nothing short of mesmerizing. The gloriously specific examples, the beautifully restrained sprinkle of Latin, the extravagant defense of your staff… truly exhilarating stuff.
I want one of your emails to call my own.
Read MoreYou may have noticed by now that I believe sarcasm is the second highest form of wit (lavatory humour being…
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