Haught

Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Tag: children

My email to the ABC (about Rat from Bananas in Pyjamas)

My email to the ABC (about Rat from Bananas in Pyjamas)

Dear ABC, This email started its life, many years ago, as the transcribed harrumphing of a Baby Boomer (in the…

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ParentHaught: Lucy’s Salon

Mum: This is a very good haircut. What will this cost, Lucy? How much?

Lucy: Four and six.

Me: And what about in post Victorian England currency?

Mum: Oh, don’t be silly, Papa. You said four hundred and six, didn’t you?

Lucy: Yes. Silly Papa. Naughty.

Me: $406 sounds like a LOT for a haircut!

Mum: Well this is more than a haircut.

Me: Fair enough. So $406, Lucy?

Lucy: Four and six marse-mallows.

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ParentHaught: Marilyn the Gorgon

[My daughter and I] start throwing Duplo bricks at Mum’s creepy bald doll, which is slumped in the corner of the room like a drunk auntie at a party she wasn’t invited to…

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ParentHaught: “UH-OH!”

We passed the pavilion and began to climb the hill towards our house when we all noticed a cricketer having a wizzle up against a fence of a nearby house. He wasn’t particularly well hidden – there was just a barely living clump of bush obscuring his dude – but we probably wouldn’t have noticed him had it not been for the fact he was emitting wind with gay abandon.

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