How dare you roll your eyes at their beliefs. How dare you scoff at their values. How dare you spit at their feet just before they lycra up and get sweaty with their cycling chums. How dare you drown out their voices by firing rainbow Kalashnikovs into the sky whenever they begin to proffer their opinion and by sending a glitter-encrusted wrecking ball through the spires and minarets of their places of worship whenever they mention their religious convictions…
Read More[A] position has recently opened up at the company I founded nearly four years ago. You will have heard of it: Haught Enterprises. It’s now become so large and so successful that I’m looking for a Chief Executive Officer to do what CEOs do… deliver value and drive strategic synergies and warn people against socialism and shit.
Read MoreThank you for quietly intervening to fix up Australia Post’s mess, even after being expressly told that wasn’t necessary. Thank you for making jarmies that aren’t drenched in the sweat of 12 year old workers plying their trade in crumbling Bangladesh buildings. Thank you for doing something thoroughly warm-hearted when today most people are blown away when companies display anything remotely approaching basic decency. Thank you for throwing margins out the window to make a new customer feel loved. Thank you with all the sincerity that a 32 year old curmudgeon can muster.
Read MoreFacebook, I’m not a greedy man. I’m humble blogger. Some would say the best humble blogger in the southern hemisphere, but let’s not quibble over whether I’m the best, second best or third best. The point is I am a humble blogger with a modest goal: I merely want to scatter my iconic brand of highly literate sarcasm to the adoring public like sunflower seeds to ecstatic crimson rosellas…
Read More“What your detractors, and the broader population, don’t understand is that people like you (and me) are the First Estate of the 21st century. Like the clergymen before us, we will speak and write in whatever language we choose, and if members of the lower castes can’t understand it, so be it.”
Read MorePeople sometimes ask me whether I really send the emails I publish on Haught to the people and companies they’re addressed to….
Read MoreYesterday, the CEO of the department store Myer, Bernie Brooks is said to have told a business conference that an…
Read MoreHaughtist Elizabeth Campbell wrote a couple of weeks ago imploring me to send an email to Coles on her behalf….
Read MoreIf you take even a vague interest in the cricket, you can’t have missed KFC’s latest television ad campaign involving…
Read MoreLast week, the Sydney broadcaster Alan Jones told a gathering that the Prime Minister’s father, who had recently passed away, had…
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