Haught

Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Tag: words

How to write a mission statement

Today, the corporation fills the societal role once taken by knights and other masked crusaders. Primarily, it exists to undertake acts of great altruism, selflessness and civic good, so it’s guided not by an “objective”, but a “mission”.

If you’re granted the great privilege of crafting this superheroic manifesto, don’t waver: your mandate to be bold and colourful is contained in the document’s very name: mission statement. If they didn’t want it to be breathtakingly inspiring, they would have called it an “aim summary” or a “goal list”.

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The Haught guide to “moving forward”

“Moving forward” (aka “going forward”) seems as popular today as when it first burst on to the corporate scene like an alien out of an unimportant character’s chest.

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The Marshall Plan

A great injustice is taking place as you read this. Sam Marshall – the man who single-handedly turned Haught from…

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The Haught guide to “journeys”

The Haught guide to “journeys”

In the past few years I’ve heard of accounts-receivable journeys, efficiency-optimisation journeys, even an ergonomic-chair-height reduction journey.

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Benign to Five on obliterating wank language

“It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words.” At least that’s what the character Syme from George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four reckons. Syme…

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The Haught guide to “learnings”

‘‘Learnings’’ is like a two metre tall, English-speaking, double-wattled cassowary in post-apocalyptic leather body armour on a steam train singing Broadway musical numbers. Nobody knows what it is, how or why it got there — but, my word, do they love it.

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