Haught

Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Category: Emails

My email to Facebook

Facebook, I’m not a greedy man. I’m humble blogger. Some would say the best humble blogger in the southern hemisphere, but let’s not quibble over whether I’m the best, second best or third best. The point is I am a humble blogger with a modest goal: I merely want to scatter my iconic brand of highly literate sarcasm to the adoring public like sunflower seeds to ecstatic crimson rosellas…

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My email to Connex

If you’re a relative newcomer to Haught, you might not know that before I was writing immaculately worded emails to…

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My email to Microsoft

“What your detractors, and the broader population, don’t understand is that people like you (and me) are the First Estate of the 21st century. Like the clergymen before us, we will speak and write in whatever language we choose, and if members of the lower castes can’t understand it, so be it.”

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My email to Woolworths

People sometimes ask me whether I really send the emails I publish on Haught to the people and companies they’re addressed to….

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My email to GetUp!

With a few days left before the Australian Federal election, the political group GetUp! commissioned a TV advertisement aiming to…

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My email to Myer

Yesterday, the CEO of the department store Myer, Bernie Brooks is said to have told a business conference that an…

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My email to myki

myki, you are not a faecal stain on the fabric of society, not hydrochloric acid in the face of civility, not even a figurative cancer metastasising throughout the Victorian community. You are something so much worse.

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My email to Coles

Haughtist Elizabeth Campbell wrote a couple of weeks ago imploring me to send an email to Coles on her behalf….

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My email to KFC

If you take even a vague interest in the cricket, you can’t have missed KFC’s latest television ad campaign involving…

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Resuming normal transmission

Haught hasn’t been running at full capacity recently. I first knew there was a problem when my daily visitor stats…

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