Haught starter

Do blogs need introductory posts or do you just wade straight in and start floundering around, not like a flounder (possibly the stillest creature in the marine kingdom) at all, but like a juvenile okapi, thrashing helplessly in a particularly deep section of the Congo with your preposterously inadequate Bambi legs and a look of desperation on your face that quickly turns to a look of resignation before sinking, with the rest of your head, below the cool sheet of water which only moments ago you were lapping at contentedly?

That’s not a rhetorical question; I really really want an answer.

Speaking of a sheet of water – narcissism: that’s the only reason you’d start a blog, surely. Last week I said this to a friend who had suggested I begin putting my thoughts down for public (digital) consumption.

He said, “So – why not?”

I said: “Because it’s for narcissistic clowns.”

He said, “Then what’s stopping you?”

And he had made a good point. Nobody likes the sound of their own keystrokes more than me. Narcissus, of course, was around in a time long before it became possible for people  to self- publish earnest, illiterate and vomit-inducing poetry and make it available to every single person in the world who owns a computer and access to the internet. So instead of starting a blog, like I’m doing right this instant, he looked at his own reflection in a lake.

Personally, if I had a womanly physique, permed hair and a nose fourteen times the size of my mouth, I reckon I could find better ways of starving to death. But good on him – he found an interest and he pursued it.

Haught fact of the day:

An okapi is one of the few animals in the world to have an onomatopoeic name – the word “okapi” is a representation of the noise mature males make while eating:

Comments ( 4 )

  1. ReplyDeej
    Flounder are my absolute favourite fish to eat. I have never eaten an Okapi.
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    [...] literary festivals and in the bath with groupies. Some of the most common include “Was that really an okapi?”, “Will you take off your mask?”, “What’s Sam Marshall really like? [...]
  3. ReplyEvish
    Hell, Haught, I only just began following you yesterday afternoon and now I have a bunch of terms to, not only explore but memorise! Okapi, Artiodactyl -(even-toed ungulate (ungulate!)), Perissodactyl - (odd-toed ungulate). As for 'daikon', Wikipedia showed me enough to lose interest in the topic, while the image remains. Even for a language enthusiast like me, the new words are coming thick and fast. That is to say, don't stop! More, MORE words! Witty, complex, whatever - more words of wit, scathing or otherwise, from you!
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