Purveyors of fine sarcasm

Tag: Haught

ParentHaught: Marilyn the Gorgon

[My daughter and I] start throwing Duplo bricks at Mum’s creepy bald doll, which is slumped in the corner of the room like a drunk auntie at a party she wasn’t invited to…

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“Grandpa, what was Agile Methodology?”

The year is 2062. A curious young lad asks his grandfather about a long-forgotten set of work techniques known as Agile Methodology.

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Regrets? Surely you have a few

Some people ask me while I’m signing autographs or they’re basking in the fresh-baked-bread warmth of my celebrity, “Jonathan, have…

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The Haught guide to “too much information”

There’s an acronym doing the rounds on the interconnected network of digitised information at the moment. You might be familiar…

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The Haught guide to people who love drama

A little while ago a friend thought one of my articles was a pointed reference to his own behaviour. It wasn’t….

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The Haught guide to resigning

We often look back on the decision to resign from a job as a happy career juncture, a fork in the career road with a perfectly-cooked career sausage on the end of it. But the moment itself, that ten or fifteen seconds in which we have to tell our manager that we’re pulling the work pin, is almost always filled with trembling anxiety.

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My email to the Commonwealth Bank

I notice you’re in a bit of a jam. You’ve been saying “Can’t” a lot to a lot of people. Which is absolutely fine. You have an insurance arm, and insurers say “Can’t”, “No” and “Get fucked” as a matter of course, but there’s that whole problem of you being the Can bank.


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My email to 7-Eleven

[A] position has recently opened up at the company I founded nearly four years ago. You will have heard of it: Haught Enterprises. It’s now become so large and so successful that I’m looking for a Chief Executive Officer to do what CEOs do… deliver value and drive strategic synergies and warn people against socialism and shit.

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The Haught guide to bringing stuff to life

I went into the [Smorgy’s] cellar to look for the propane torch we sometimes used to keep at bay the warthogs that accumulated around the restaurant’s perimeter after midnight.

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How to become a thought leader

My new year resolution was to become a thought leader. I’ve already achieved it. I got my accreditation from the…

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